potpurri

- since I discovered my township doesn't recycle I have been bringing my recyclables to work.  This has been working out pretty well, I pack up my car the nite before and just dump it in the recycle dumpster.  I always feel really good when I do it, I know it takes so little to make me happy.

-a co-worker/former supervisor is leaving the company I work for this Friday and I am pretty upset about it.  She have been here like 20 years or something.  The company has gone through lots of changes and received a new VP of human resources who came from a for profit co and now trying to run this mom and pop company the same.  It really have not gone well, new policies causing people that have been here for 10 15 years to get fired and/or resign.  I am really annoyed with alot of things here but I have a plan that I am working and then I"m leaving here as well.

-I am meeting the tech guy to have my hard drive repaired today.  Thank god!

-Ebony and I have decided on our mommy vaca dates, May 19 -24.  Miami here we come, another co worker of mine wants to go.  She's a single mom and likes the idea and said she never goes any where and would like to go.  My vision of the mommy vaca is that all the mommies I know get together and participate every year.  We make a decision come up with a date and everybody pulls together and go.  I know a few other mommies who want to go I am hopeful that it will come together with more mommies very soon.  So we are staying in South beach, a half block from the beach in a very nice hotel in the middle of the art deco area(the happening spot) all for $550 bucks, that includes airfare and hotel stay.  Can't wait!

-my working time have been going pretty good.  yesterday I used the gym at my job, they have a small cardio area and some free weights.  I worked out for a half hour, the father picks the kids up on Monday and Tuesday so I think me staying those days will work out fine for me.  It's free so I doesn't get any better than that.

Faith

In my faith I always get comments like "y'all don't believe in Jesus", "why don't you celebrate holidays, they don't have nothing to do with religion".
Over the past few years I have drawn closer to my faith and began studying and worshiping regularly.  I have decided to let my faith lead my path in life.  Many people often ask me why I don't do the things I used to do, I explain why and for some reason it seems to annoy some.  That's understandable and honestly to be expected.  I make mistakes and sometimes I stray away from the things I should be doing but as an in perfect human that is not surprising.  I always make it clear that I am a Christian(a follower of Christ) and I/we(Jehovah's Witnesses) study/live by the bible.  People also ask who is Jehovah(Yahweh) and why do we use this name, Psalms 83:18 explains that.  I decided to blog about my faith because 1. I absolutely love it and 2. answer any questions someone may have 3. clear up any misrepresentation of information.  Someone will say to me I thought y'all didn't believe in Jesus and I will say well who told you that and the answer is usually someone who is not of the faith.  That just seems strange stupid that someone will ask another person who isn't in the faith.  Not that you have to be in the faith to have knowledge but for me if you have a question about how to care for a sick cat/dog I could say what I think we should do but I will most certainly go to the Vet to find out exactly what should be done.  I think will continue this blog periodically just to give more insight and understanding.  Easter is approaching as well as my birth day, I have included a small paragraph explain my position on these day.
Even if Jesus’ disciples had known the exact date of his birth, they would not have celebrated it. Why? Because, as The World Book Encyclopedia says, the early Christians “considered the celebration of anyone’s birth to be a pagan custom.” The only birthday observances mentioned in the Bible are those of two rulers who did not worship Jehovah. (Genesis 40:20; Mark 6:21) Birthday celebrations were also held in honor of pagan deities. For example, on May 24 the Romans celebrated the birthday of the goddess Diana. On the following day, they observed the birthday of their sun-god, Apollo. Hence, birthday celebrations were associated with paganism, not with Christianity.

Easter. “There is no indication of the observance of the Easter festival in the New Testament,” states The Encyclopedia Britannica. How did Easter get started? It is rooted in pagan worship. While this holiday is supposed to commemorate Jesus’ resurrection, the customs associated with the Easter season are not Christian. For instance, concerning the popular “Easter bunny,” The Catholic Encyclopedia says: “The rabbit is a pagan symbol and has always been an emblem of fertility.”

weekend shenanigans....

Friday I tried my darnest to stay up late get some things done and watch tv.  I don't know why but I feel like on Friday's if I am not out doing something fun then I should be up late doing something mediocre in the house.  It usually doesn't happen that way, I end up falling asleep like 1030 11pm the latest.  I know I'm a total corn ball.  Friday I cooked dinner did somethings around the house(still unpacking) and went to bed. 
Saturday was somewhat better, Ebony came over around 6pm.  We listened to music, talked, drank(I know it may seem like I drink alot but it's not that bad, I think)and ate we had a good time, watching the kids dance to Micheal Jackson songs. 
Sunday I had my mom and dad over for dinner.  I have really been into cooking lately.  Sometimes I get like that, then other times I'm like can't y'all just eat some cereal for dinner.  I know, we are pretty balanced around my house.  Also Saturday night Gia crashed my brand new(pink,very pretty) laptop.  She was playing some games she said and then she was on the web cam when it froze.  I turned it off then said that's it for the night.  So Sunday when I got up I decided to turn it on and see what was going on.  Windows wouldn't load up at all.  So after some trouble shooting I decided to get the paperwork out and just call Dell.  They have 24/7 tech service which is great, I was on the phone with the guy for about 30 to 40 mins running test and diagnostic to no avail.  He finally told me to shut the computer off and that the hard drive needs to be replaced.  UGGGG!!! Kids!!!  Apparently she downloaded something, of course she has no idea.  I really needed to go to the Hall after that.  I needed some spiritual food so I then can let go of all the anger/irritation/annoyed/irked/anxiety I had.  Dell told me that they will replace the hard drive, a tech will call me and come out to replace it which means I am losing my music on itunes.  I should be ok because I have it on my ipod and Gia has her music on her ipod as well.  Obviously it's still under warranty because I don't think I had it for a month yet.  Gia apologized and was very sorry the rest of the night, I accepted her apology and we agreed that she will only use the computer for school.  She can use her phone for facebook. 

Dear mom's,

If you have little one's get ready because I am in the trenches of adolescents.  And while I know overall I have a good daughter boy o boy the drama has already begun.  So hold on tight and get ready for the ride, you will be tested/shocked and down right in disbelief at the things that they say and do.  You have been warned and in the know and knowing is half the battle.

Sending lots of love and support,

Truedeeva

soooooo

and why is it every time you come over, your pee has to end up in my toilet??  are you trying to find a reason to go upstairs? why?  anything in particular your looking for?  i mean every time your there you have to go?  seriously?  and now your so tired that you are falling asleep on my couch??


nope no more games......

There is nothing like a well put together plan

Yesterday I meet with my advisor at DCCC, there was a short presentation welcoming new students and afterwards they helped with registration.  I felt great just being in that atmosphere, knowing that I am starting something new making a plan and following through.  I'm sort of anxious, I wanted to get into a summer course but they weren't offering anything I needed in a time slot I could do.  Waiting until the fall is cool it will give me a chance to prepare and let my supervisor know my new schedule.  Currently I work 8am to 430pm, since I will have evening classes on Monday and Wednesday, I plan to work 930am to 6pm just on those days.  Since I am 10mins down the road from school I have plenty of time to get to class that starts at 630pm.  I seems like alot but I actually do well when I have alot on my plate.  I worked out the schedule with the father as he will be picking the kids up and on Wednesday he will bring them home and my mom will watch them.  I hope things work as smooth as they sound.  I really want to this.
Wednesday night I was in such a good mood when I got home.  I was downloading music on my niece's mp3 player, cooking and dancing with the kids.  I love my itunes and my Bose speaker, we had a great time.  I have so many ideas and things I want to do in my new place but of course all of this cost money so slow is the name of the game.  I am thinking I will have a small mixer at my place very soon.  Everyone that knows me know that I enjoy hosting gatherings, but since I am holding off on a house warming until I actually buy my house I'm just going to do a cocktail gathering.
The weekend is here and I am extremely happy and not because I have huge plans, just because I am sick of work.  I am very bored with my job.  I really can't complain and not that I am, well maybe a little.  I know I have a good position but it's just not enough for me anymore.  I went through and rough time and I needed a job that wasn't demanding during that time.  Now I am moving forward with my life I feel like I have outgrown my job.  And I'm not saying this in a bad way, I just know I'm ready to move on to something more meaningful and challenging.  I hear a few people telling me "girl your crazy to give up that job", but it's not that I am giving up my position, because I will be right here til I'm done school and on to my career path, but I am looking forward to making career changes.
I am thinking I want to make a stop at Kohl's, maybe for just some window shopping just to price somethings for our up and coming mommy vacation.  We will see how that works out.

HUH?!??

I find out that the township that I moved to does not recycle?!?!!
OMG....what am I going to do about my OCD?!?!! 
Who does this? 
How are they getting away with this?
What in the world?!? (ok just breath...)
Who do I call?
Who do I write??

a better weekend

I thought when I got my new computer and wireless set up I would do more blogging at home.  Honestly I really don't have much time but not only that I don't have the quiet time to organize my thoughts to actually sit and blog. 
My weekend went pretty well, Friday I went out on a (drum roll please) date!  I have been talking to this guy I met on the website and we really had great conversations.  I have been doing a little survey asking people I know how they feel about dating websites.  It came out to be split, while some people agree that it's the world we live in where people meet on the Internet and between work, family there isn't that many opportunities to meet someone.  But then I talked to a few people who had the idea that everyone on the Internet are liars and murderers.  Of course when I'm asking people about how they felt I never let them know that I went on the Internet and met someone, who knows I just might turn out to be one of those serial murderers.  Any who....We met up Friday around 8pm, I was initially worried that when I saw him in person he would totally not look the way he did in his pics.  But he did.  I decided I didn't want our 1st meet up to be long, just in case I was not feeling him.  So we met at Ruby's Tuesday's by the airport, not far from Ebony who of course knows everything.  I was over her house first just so she could give me the ok about my outfit, which was actually very simple.  My skinny jeans a brown shirt and my leopard print stiletto's, simple but very sexy.  We talked I drank a small glass of wine and then we parted way's.  We both seem pretty happy with each other so we agreed that we would set up a time to hang out again.
Saturday I laid in bed until 11am, now that is very late for me.  Usually Ase wakes me up and then I'm up around 8am.  But I could not get myself together once I got up I made lunch for everybody.  Ayanna was schedule to hang out with her friend Deja, so I waited for them to come pick her up.  After that I went food shopping and when I came back home I took a nap.  I don't know why I just couldn't get enough sleep.
Sunday I recovered enough to make it to the hall.  Afterward I came home started my laundry and dinner.  I invited Renita(a friend from the hall and Deja's mom) over for dinner.  I felt nice since she had us over several times for dinner, it felt good to be able to invite someone over.  I made mac and cheese(homemade) fried some chicken and steamed broccoli.  The kids played and after we ate we sat and drank some wine.  We had such a good time doing nothing and talking about everything.  The father came past to pick up and drop off Ayanna, she had a hair appointment.  He ate dinner hung around some and then he left, of course me and Renita talked about him.  Nothing major you know the usual girl talk. 
Now it's Monday and raining.....

sick and tired

Don't you just hate when day's go by and you missed them....
Friday I called off because when I picked Ase up from the daycare Thursday he had a temp.  Now with the average kid that doesn't necessarily mean major issues, not this kid.  When he gets a temp I get very worried because whatever is causing the temp will then start to aggravate his asthma.  Which then means a whole host of other issues, worries, er visits, admission to hospitals and other concerns.  So I started his care plan that he has for the asthma, to keep the wheezing under control.  On Sunday he still was fighting the fever and wheezing so I called the father and told him that he had to come and take him to the er because I was to sick to sit in the er.  Of course the whole time I was on speaker phone or texting him asking what's going on now(just like mommy should).  They patched my baby up and sent him home, he has double ear infections :(

As for me Friday night, I was so tired I couldn't even carry him up the steps to bed.  I was so weak and it was out of nowhere, so when I woke up Saturday morning I was in terrible shape.  My back, head and stomach ached, my stomach was also nausea and I could barely get out of bed.  It was really bad.  I spent to whole day in bed barely able to drink something but my dad came over and brought me somethings and later my mom came too.  I haven't been that sick in a while.  By Monday I was somewhat better still dealing with a headache and a sour stomach.  But here it is Wednesday and I think I'm just getting back to myself.  What a rough couple of days :(

It's raining but today is better

So today seems to be much better than yesterday even with the rain.  I am over my emotional roller coaster and today does not seem as long.  I went home, cooked dinner and poured myself and glass of white wine.  Moscato was the name, it was a little sweet but very smooth, just any case any of you are wine drinkers like myself.  Not that I have a habit of drowning myself with alcohol when faced with life issues, well maybe this time.  I listened to Teena Marie's "Casanova Brown" and "Square Biz".  I felt pretty good and between the music and wine, I really didn't hear the kids.  Which was nice considering my place is a zoo, but I love my circus.  The night ended pretty good.
Yesterday when I picked the kids up at the daycare I drove past my old apartment to check for any mail.  I didn't request to forward my mail yet because I don't want to delay some of the things I'm looking for and I don't live that far.  So half way there Nu(Ayanna, Nu is my little pet name for her) says mommy I don't want to go to the old house I want to go to the new house.  I tell her were not going to stay I just have to get something.  It was pretty funny but I guess you had to be there.  Since I'm working with someone to help with my credit I am now getting letters from the bureau's and other places to take things off and to pay somethings.  It's very exciting, once this is done I HAVE to keep my credit on track and not let things fall to side.  Other exciting news, by end of April of this year I will have paid my student loans totally off!  OMG, now I'm sure anyone reading this that have student loans can totally appreciate this.  This well help with my debit to income ratio tremendously.  So in the fall when I go back to school I will use grant money and pay for any other needs, just to make sure I stay out of debt. 

who??

It has been a long day......
I have been thinking about so many things and have been on my own little quiet emotional roller coaster.  I am so happy, excited about the move this past weekend.  My kids and I were in desperate need of a bigger place.  When I got the apartment I planned to stay there until I was actually ready to buy a house but 3 months after moving in I got preggers.  After that it became a temporary place much quicker than I anticipated.  But here we are in the space we need.  So back to my roller coaster of emotions.  I also realize that I have made huge moves with in the past month.  Filing for divorce was something I needed to do I was convinced that I would have no worry or even give it a second thought.  Now I'm not saying that I regret filing because I don't.  I just thought I was done all of the grieving and sadness and letting go.  But I guess now that I am finally getting down to it, that could potentially bring up all of these feelings again.(I make no apologies for rambling on)  Also since I have put an end to us hopping in and out of the bed, I think that also makes it more real for me.  Sometimes it's hard to be the one who makes the hard decisions and take the lead but that's who I am.  It's who I am and it's also the hardest thing to do sometimes, is be yourself.  Maybe that doesn't makes sense but no, actually it does.  Sometimes I don't want to be that person who comes up with all of the ideas, makes the moves, resolves the problems.  Then again this is my life, who do I want to be in charge of it?  Who else would fix what's wrong?  Am I bothered by this?  I know I like to talk myself out of things and I while I did attempt to tell myself that I am so done/over this and there is nothing else to think/wonder/cry about with this.  Why do I have feel this way?  I hate it!  Yes I know it's normal when you dealing with such a heavy situation but I'm not talking about other people, I'm talking about me, the fixer, the problem solver the idea and move maker.  I can't have feelings about this it's not right because I don't behave like this.  So now who am I..........

.....

What a busy weekend, I did it I moved into a bigger home.  We are officially in and it feels really good!  I feel much better about coming home and relaxing.  Now that is left is the unpacking, which is mostly done and decorating.  I have alot of ideas and sometimes I become overwhelmed with it all.  But then I have to break out the wine or Nuevo turn Teena Marie on the ipod and just relax.  Yes I have been listening to her lately.  It reminds me of when I was younger, I grew up with her and Prince playing in the house all the time.  I found some of the songs I like on itunes and downloaded them.  I treated myself to a Bose speaker system, it's wonderful, crisp clear music.  I love it.

A co-worker gave me a dating website plentyoffish.com she said it's free.  I went and checked it out and yes it is free =0.  So I have been lurking around it trying to see if it's actually something I want to explore.  I just might, I figured why not, when do I actually have time to meet someone??  Thoughts on the whole internet dating?  I know it's the sign of the times so I guess I better get with it!?!

I know I don't have much of an exciting life but I will better, think?!?

something different

I saw this and decided to do something different then rant/complain about what's going on in my not so exciting life....

This handwriting meme seemed really cool, and after seeing it  I couldn't resist. You're meant to be tagged to do this, but whatever.

As part of the handwriting meme, you're required to grab both paper and a pen, and answer the following questions:

1. What's your name/blog name?

2. What's your blog's URL?

3. Write "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog".

4. What is your favourite quote?

5. What is your favourite song?

6. What is/are your favourite band/singers?

7. Anything else you want to say?

8. Tag 3 bloggers to participate.


And here's my not so lovely handwriting....

"Be happy with what you got, you asked for it...."

I"m so irritated with the father, not that that is something new but this is ridiculous.  Two years of him bitchin and talking trash about filing for divorce he never does.  I get to spot in my heart and mind and I file paperwork.
So now the father has this intense need/desire for me?? huh...cut it out and grow up.  I'm getting all kinds of text messages and calls.  I tell him look this back and forth thing we did is over and I already told you that  once "papers" where file it was a wrap.  I know in the past I would often say I'm done and he would do the same, then we would go back and forth.  But this time it's for real.  I said "this is what you wanted, you said your done with me so please be done with me".(yay me)  "This is what you wanted, so be happy with what you have".  I don't know if he see's this as a game or if he really haven't processed all of it.  I know he has regrets but I can't do nothing about it.  I know I have learned from this relationship and I hope that he has to.  It's not my fault you decided to run around like the town cryer informing everyone of what was happening in your marriage.  Who does that??  And hind sight I really believe once he was over things he didn't really want to end the marriage but he had already wrote the check.  Between Ego and foolish pride it all got in the way and didn't work out the way he thought.  But baby boy I hope you learn in your next relationship that everything is not for everybody.  In the mean time, just like I told you last night be happy with what you got and leave me alone.