After class last night I realized that I have made a great decision to become a paralegal. I know for some the law isn't something to get all excited about as for me I am soooo excited. It is a bit overwhelming, not just learning something new or being back in a classroom(its been 7years shush!) but learning the law means you also have to learn a whole new language and new set of terms and that is the tricky part. My legal research prof said that right now we are just getting lots and lots of information so just take it all in. In about 4 to 6 weeks things will start to click and come together. I hope so because we only had two classes and I already have a set of flash cards made up.
On the flip side my mommy instinct begin to pull at me, I sat there and began to feel guilty about being there. I talked to a former supervisor and someone I look up and she explained that she to felt the same way when she went back to school. She gave me my pep talk and told me to leave the guilt behind and push through. I know she's right and me being at school two nights a week isn't that bad. But for a minute in class I started to drift and think about my babies, am I missing something? do they miss me? am I neglecting them? Yes I wondered all of those things. I had to shake that thinking and focus back on the class. I know I'm a good mom(yes I have to toot my own horn sometimes) I just don't want my kids growing up saying where the hell was my mom when I fell and needed that boo boo kissed. I know I'm over reacting but I love my kids and want the best for them and the best doesn't always mean material things but I want them to have great childhood memories. I know somebody can understand my rant??
It's so hard isn't it? There is always *something* to feel guilty about. You *are* a good mom, and you deserve to have a job that is intellectually stimulating and interesting to you. It's hard to be away from the kids, but they are in good hands while you are gone. It's really only a short time. Hang in there!
ReplyDelete--Lisa