yea so like I was saying

Soo many things have went on....

• The beginning of Dec I went to my Co. holiday party, it was nice simple nothing major bestie came with me and we always have a good time.  One irritant (probably don't need to be mention but whatever) a co-worker of mine whom I'm really good friends with told me and bestie to come over to the bar so he can buy us a drink.  Next thing I know two other chicks jump up(yes i know them) and walk over there with us.  They stand around at the bar as if there are about to buy a drink and literally wait for my friend to pay for there drinks.  I was so annoyed b/c I don't do crap like that and its was  a pretty desperate move for a $4.00 drink.  I later apologized to my friend and he is such a nice guy he said it was ok but he did noticed and thought it was tacky as well.
• My Legal Research &Writing classes ended two weeks ago and I got an A.  I'm very proud more so because I went into this not knowing much about the law, legal writing and research and I manage to not only do very well but I really grasp it and honestly its kinda difficult because your learning a different language just about.  Anyway spring semester I decided to take 3 classes which makes me nervous and excited at the same time.  I will be in class Mon, Tues and Thur nights, its alot for a working mom but I'm going to do it.  Last Mon I left my Intro class, we reviewed for the final which is tonight and I haven't seen my bookbag since.  Yes you heard me right, I lost my bookbag!  I mean seriously who does this, I'm just a little to old for this kind of shenanigans.  I honestly believe someone took it out of my car, I leave it in there alot because I take it to work with me during the week.  I think I may have forgot to lock my car and someone saw the bag thinking it was something of value and took it.  Which means I lost my flash drive with my work thank goodness I have a back up on my computer at work, my $90 book I purchased which I will have to buy again only because it has alot of useful info.  UGGGG the good thing is its the end of the semester and the girl in my class was able to email the notes for the final I'm annoyed.
• I met this guy awhile back and we have been talking pretty often, we hung out a few times and honestly he makes me nervous.  School girl nervous, I'm extremely attracted to him not just physically but he just has swagga.  It got to the point were I was avoiding hanging out with him.  Now of course these type of guys are not boyfriend material and not that he couldn't be boyfriend material at a different time in my life but he just has alot going on.  He lives in Jersey which isn't an issue he works as a barber which means long days and nights.  He has plenty of kids(when I say plenty I mean more than 5) which translates into more than one baby mom and thats just a little more than I am willing to over look, now don't get my wrong I have a school yard full myself and I don't have an issue with someone having children.  But with that kind of situation it's just a bit crowded in his life.  So I have moved him into the fun boy toy box and he can stay there for now.
• The father continues on his endeavor of silliness and annoying antics.  He finally decided to just get the kids every other weekend which I don't understand what was the problem.  Now when he has them he still has to find a reason call me and not want anything.  I told him don't start calling me Sunday morning talking about where am I going to be.  6pm drop off or meet up is good, of course anything I suggest doesn't work for him so he got an attitude about 6pm and just kept them.  HUH?? You might say, why would he keep them another night if he had something to do?  Lies all lies....any way he will drop them at the daycare and I will get them from there.  I told him I would much rather do it like that anyway to avoid his anger and whatever issue he has with me that I don't know about.
• Also I have already decided on my 4th annual mommy vaca for 2012 ooooo baby essence music festival in New Orleans, LA.  This is a music festival weekend held the first weekend in July every year on the french quarter.  I went several years ago with mzjacksonswords and we had an awesome time.  This year I am doing a better job at planning things out, bestie and I are resevering our room now and will have it paid prior to arrival.  The year we went hurricane Katrina hit so I'm eager to see how things have changed.

so thats it for now I promise will update more now that the semester is over.....

"me and my girlfriend" - tupac

Between class, homework, work, sleep and kids I have not had the energy to blog.  I hate that because my blogging is part of my exercise for my mind and mental health.  Maybe that sounds corny but its true writing gives me the outlet and the oppurtunity to get out of my own head.
Thursday I went over bestie house for dinner, she cooked and as usual our families always have a great time.  We both are cut from the same cloth, we share so much in the way we think and yet we are so different.  We also share the same religion(she was introduced as a young child to the faith and I was introduced as a pre-teen by my grandmom) besides that we are both the only child and our mothers are a mirror of eachother, which means our childhoods also are similar in the way we grew up.  So for me we are family, I"m that person who believes just because you don't share a blood line with someone that dont mean they are not your family.  And honestly just because I do share a blood line with some people I honestly do feel that that makes them my loved one either.  I'm not about to into that discussion, anyway we had a great time as usual, her husband bought some "Hennesy Black" which I had to have some of.  Yes I am a serious drinker and I usually drink hennesy w/ O.J when we go out(when I'm not to broke).  We drank the henny black I mixed mine with cranberry and bestie drank it straight with some water on the side as a chaser, yuck!  After eating and drinking I needed a nap on the couch before I could bring myself to gather my posses and go home. "good times, good times"
Friday I did some much needed cleaning and the usual washing of clothes, I swear washing clothes for three children is pretty ridiculous all the detergent and bleach we go threw.  I had plans to hang out with this guy I have been talking to for quite sometime but after several strange conversations I decided I didn't think it would have been a good idea.  After a while he just seemed strange which turned me off, I don't even feel like getting into maybe later.
Saturday I went to a co worker 40th birthday party which turned out very nice.  It was at a hall so she provided the food and drinks, yea I like those parties too!  Of course I had a great time dancing and drinking all night bestie came with me of course.  I usually have to bring her because I hate being somewhere and people acting stupid or like they don't know how to have a good time.  I know when were together we gonna have a good time.  Which brings me to this Friday, the company holiday party and yes bestie is coming with me.  I was going to bring Tate but thats his weekend with his daughter.  I was kinda glad since I really don't want people at this job all in my business AGAIN.   Speaking of Tate we just started talking again, I had to dismiss almost right after we started talking.  What happened was he can be a bit of a how do I say it.... controlling/jealous, crap like if I'm with him and I look at my phone he's all like "tell your boyfriend your here with me" or when I'm leaving "where are you going and why are you leaving"  I had to tell him in the not so polite way(b/c I tried to do polite the 1st time) I have kids in this world and I'm checking my phone because she may have to texted/called me and I can't lay up with you all day I have a home to attend too.  So he got annoyed with me and I ended up telling him "your irritating me and I'm done playing this game".  So we didn't talk for about a two weeks and then he texted me asking was I still angry with him and I let him know of course not, where friends again.  (gag, gag)
Also my classes have been going great besides the fact that I really don' t like this one teacher but half the class don't like her either.  I got my final last night, which is a take home and due next Wed and then we are done with that class, I really like this prof.  I registered for three classes for the spring semester, I'm nervous can I really take on three classes?  That mean I will have class Mon Tues and Thur.  I want to do it but I don't want to be streched and not make A's.  I'm still undecided.  Anywho more updates later.

I'm going in....

I don't write disclaimers as this is my blog and I blog what I want to.....names and places are not mentioned to protect the innocence and the guilty.

I"m so sick of guys and their exaggerated idea that there penis is some how superior to another penis and the idea that just because they have a dick it some hows give them some kind of secret weapon of mass destruction.  Now I admit I have been around the block, it's not something I am ashamed of or proud of its just one of those things where it is what it is.  With that said I have seen my fair share of dicks, big ones small ones normal size skinny ones and fat ones and honestly while most women can say they want a big one I think for the most part we are happy with a normal size with a decent width.  Back to the men, for some reason guys think that there penis is superior to another.  Seriously do they not understand that most women can go to the nearest corner flag someone down and get a dick.  Its not one of those things where the product out weights the demand there is a surplus.  Now when I say get dick I don't mean a relationship/husband/boyfriend what I mean is if I want to get screwed its not a hard task.  Guys brag about there penis thinking that they some how lay pipe better than the next guy.  Yes some guys just don't have a clue around a women's body and then there are others who are tuned into exactly what we want and sometimes it requires some coaching  to find out exactly what we want.  So I have been in situations when some guy feels the need to let me know how good his dick is, really??!!   And why I conduct myself like an effing lady I do not feed the monster I usually sit back and let that person honk his own horn, I mean hey why not.  Usually I want to say something like "boy please I have seen bigger" or "yours is ok, it falls a little short but I can work with it" or "no you really don't need that magnum condom a regular one will due" or "no I really wanna get on top b/c I"m not feeling anything" and "yes I have had better".  Now I refrain from saying such thing because I usually like the person I'm screwing(yes I tried to make that a habit) and I don't really want to bruise the male ego(well not at that time).  So in conclusion ladies our job is never done, we will sit back and let him brag and feel like he did something that have never been done, go ahead especially if you like him.

men, men and more men...

A few weeks ago I kinda decided I was just gonna jump off the deep end and do what I want when I want without restrictions.  This sounds kinda crazy but "ha whatta you gonna do", for a while I have been playing it cool and not really pursuing all those naughty things I wanna do.  First on my agenda is men, yes men.  I really have been taking it easy and not looking or putting in any real effort to meet someone.  Hell even sex have been on the back burner and for me that is pretty dam hard.  Not saying I'm some kind of nympho but by all means I like it when and how I want.  I think I wasn't putting in any real effort because honestly I have such a busy schedule between school/work/kids I didn't think there was any room left.  So I have decided to make room and squeeze in the opposite sex.
Last week I made a connection with Tate and old boyfriend from college, we hung out last week and this past weekend.  He goes paintball every weekend and insist that I go, honestly I don't want to go.  I have been in the past (took the father paintball for a fathers day gift) and that was enough.  I asked a girlfriend if she would go but I seriously don't want to go, sheesh!  He's just out of a relationship 2 months ago, he told me he wished he hadn't taken our relationship for granted even though we where young.  He thinks I'm the wife type, I'm a cool person easy on the eyes and have a great personality as long as I "direct my vagina in one direction, I'm the wife type" his words not mine.  So romantic and honest, so I had a good laugh at that!
I also met another guy(a cop, no not that one another one) and he is typical guy that I usually end up with.  Not saying that in a bad way but for whatever reason he swears that I am the one and that we will be in a great relationship soon.  He even had it planned out that we(me+kids) will move in to his home since he owns it after we get married.  I usually end up with the provider protector kind of guy, which is great but right now I kinda want to play around some.  Not to say if things go well I wouldn't embrace a good relationship but sheesh he already has us married.  He is nice and nice on the eyes as well so I guess there isn't much to complain about there.
Also the Russian guy that I went out with maybe a year a go emailed me.  He is also a nice guy with this adorable accent who says he too is tired of being single and wants to put in real effort for us to get to know each other again and see where it goes.  We went out a few times, maybe a year ago but at that time I really didn't want to meet someone so I was acting like a flake not returning calls/text messages.  He is a nurse at Temple University hospital and has a 16y/o son who live in Russia.  So I guess he emailed me at the right time, we are hanging out Tuesday.

my show will go on

Somebody help, either help me or the father I can't I can't just irks my whole entire soul I swear....
Now that I got that out
Monday I talk to the father asking if he could keep the kids over night on Tuesday, side bar:

Of course I was/am irked that I have to come up with a story so you can keep your kids and I can go out. WTF?? where not together and why do you care??  I decided that I would tell him what he needed to hear just to keep the peace and not rock the boat.

He said he would(after asking me why whats going on) he also said that he would pick them up from the daycare.  I made plans to hang out with Tate(is what we will call him) on Tuesday and I honestly said to myself I just may want to spend the night out hence why I asked the father to keep them.  After we made that plan I said cool then I can go to the gym straight from work then come home.  So yesterday he goes to the daycare and picks everyone up except my oldest daughter.  Normally shes not at the daycare but there was no school yesterday so she was.  The father picks everyone up(mind you my middle child is in the same bldg) and then says to her your mom is coming to get you.  Here we go with the games, so after she texted me that I left the gym to go get her all the while cursing like a drunken sailor on the phone to him.  But once I got home and calmed down(whoo sigh) I started getting ready for my date.

Tate lives in the city and we decided I would meet him at his place then we would go get something to eat.  Feeling rather sexy in my jeans and smelling very good, I met him at his place and he gave me a tour.  He has this huge 3 story house that he is in the process of renovating himself.  Its tile, flooring, paint, sheet rock holes in the wall when you walk in, the downstairs isn't complete so we head up to the second floor where he knocked down a wall to create a bigger bedroom for himself.  His daughter room and her bathroom was done to perfection then I could see how good his work is.  We went up another flight of stairs where he knocked down another wall to open up the space and there is where he built a bar w/ a sink put down ceramic floors and installed a heart shape black jacuzzi in the back room.  He also opened up the front window and built a deck off of the 3rd floor with sliding glass tinted windows.  This room is where he stays but plans to make it an official entertainment area.  So we sat and talked he told me if I needed anything done at my place he would do it(yes please I need the place painted) and after plenty of comments about how I look and how well I aged I kinda let go of some of my insecurity.  I hate that I have some insecurity about my weight, I know I carry it well but I know this isn't really me.  Thats why I have been putting in serious effort about the gym and watching what I eat.  Anyway after the tour we headed out the clock bar, this was one of my fav spots when I went to Temple, yes its a neighborhood bar that serves awesome seafood.  After we ate we headed back to his place and he poured us a drink and he put on the Kevin Hart comedy show.  We talked about our recent relationships and what we want and direction we want to go talked about our kids he still has that silly side that I like.  We both talked about how much we just enjoyed hanging out with each other and we both agreed that we where actually friends and enjoyed each other company.  I realized when we got back the jacuzzi was full so we decided to get in and relax and watch the movie in there.  I was being shy and made him leave when I took my clothes off, he laughed and said I was being silly and that I looked great, whatever turn around while I get in.  We drank and laughed in the jacuzzi, after we both got pretty tipsy and wrinkled from being in the water we decided to get out.  He lives just like the typical bachelor digging around for the bag of clean clothes for some towels.  We laid in bed and he attempted to put on a movie but neither of us where interested in the movie.  I have always been attracted to big guys, I like when  a guy has a big wide chest and shoulders and he had all that along with that scruffy rugged look.  So I had a great time and left early enough this morning to be to work on time.

"pick back up now where I leave it at"

I hate when I let so much time go by without blogging it makes it more difficult to get my thoughts together, anyway I will try here goes(in no particular order)
Last week I had another interview this was with a law firm downtown and an attorney known for his commercials on daytime tv.  I loved being downtown, prior to that I haven't been in forever and I felt like some kind of out of town tourist.  I was surprised that I was actually interviewing with him directly I kinda thought it would be with some HR person but nope it was him.  He was a very nice guy(surprisingly) and the interview went well.  I feel like I want to keep getting out there until I find something that suits me.  He did say that he would like someone with experience but hasn't found them yet, he said he liked me and would definitely consider me since I showed so much enthusiasm.  I was rather pleased with that, I see all of this as a learning experience that will take me to what I am suppose to have in the end.
Friday I had my court date, the father took me to court for shared/joint custody of the kids.  Initially it had my panties in a huge bunch, lots of anxiety and stress.  I then sat down and jotted down all the valid points that I will bring up as to say why that it's not necessary that he get shared custody.  After doing that and sharing my points with several people it was obvious that I had nothing to worry about.  Friday when I got there we where told that court was cancelled and they had to reschedule.  It really didn't matter to me anyway, so now its postponed and I will get a letter in the mail telling me when the new court date. Whatever!
Last week an old boyfriend found me on facebook, I don't really like fb but I guess it does have it's up side.  He was my boyfriend my 1year at Temple and we really like each other but we where young and silly.  You know how it is when your young and full of emotions, hormones and sexual desires(the good old days) needless to say the relationship had its ups and downs and ended the summer of our second year.  So now that we are back in touch we talked about all those(now funny) incidents that went down.  He told me how much he liked me and that I broke his heart.  It was a very nice conversation, so now we are hanging out tonight.  I can't wait;)  I'm pretty excited and nervous in alot of ways, one way for sure since I finally cut the sex with the father I can totally see me being a slut and screwing him.  I know bad girl but we have a history and its not like he's a total stranger, right?  And it really doesn't help that he is still very sexy and since I'm working out regularly I feel pretty good about myself I"m pretty eager to get naked for someone.  And we both are single.....
Its funny how guys that I talk to from my past express how much they cared about me and they where head over heels in love with me and they have been looking for me.  But when I think back I don't recall if I have the same feelings, when I'm with the person yes I really like them but when its over I tend to just let it go and move on without much thought.  I guess that's a good thing for me anyway it keeps me from living in the past but I honestly don't realize that I made an impact in someones life.  When I think of my past I can't say that I have been head over heels in love alot.  When I'm with someone yes I am attracted to them and I love being with the person but alot of times its something I can give or take.  I was in love with the father for so many reasons but the main reason was because of the way he treated me but there was plenty at the same time that I could have done without.  I guess that is how love goes, people grow and change and you just keep finding things to love about that person, r-ex is someone I can say I was deeply in love with but I don't spend time in the past.  I have always been like that very matter of fact, when I think about it I guess its a good thing and also a bad thing at times.
Anyway my classes are going very good and if I keep my two classes per semester and one class each summer session I should be done in June of 2013.  It seems far but not really, if something happens and I can take more classes that would be great but overall I'm pretty happy with this schedule.
Its nice to be blogging again

mean girls come back to haunt you

Last Wednesday I had an interview which turned out some surprises, first the person who interviewed me was a girl I went to Temple with.  Now the average person I guess that would be a good thing, when she said her name when we where on the phone I knew right away this was the same girl.  She has a very unique name and there was no chance that it was somebody else who had the same name.  Immediatly I began to think if I go along with the girl.  She was my former roommate, roommate they got an off campus apartment.  I do remember bff and I going over there and just doing mean girl stuff, just for no reason(I know we where young), we would call her the wrong name just because or we would eat some of her food and sometimes just snoop in her room.  So when I spoke to her on the phone I didn't want to say anything but I was sure it was her, so of course when I got there the first thing she said was my name you know said it like hey girl!  So I said yes and we had a laugh, I was relieved to know that she was pretty ok with me.  I mean that was along time ago so we went on with the intereview and talked some about people we know.  As I thought the job start pay was signifantly less that what I am making now but it is exactly where I need to be to gain my experience.  I thought about it all weekend and came to the conclusion that if I am going to take a pay cut that I would have to plan ahead right now I cannot just up change jobs and lose money.  So over the next year I will continue my career search with the hopes of not taking a pay cut but if so I'm going to figure my plan that will allow me to do so.  I swear this grown up stuff is really for the birds.