emotional wreck

I have been dating dj for the past 18 months and it has been an emotional, drama filled and passionate relationship. Sometimes I don't know why I stay and at the same time I love him, I hate our relationship sometimes. He doesn't communicate well but at the same time he has made huge changes and our communication has gotten 10times better. I know he loves me because I feel it and at the same time I question how he feels about me. My frustration with him is whenever I express myself and tell him something he may have did or something I don't like or something that happen he gets upsets and somehow becomes the victim. I know he has a passive aggressive personality, his favorite line "i'm dammed if I do and dammed if I don't", I hate the passive aggressive person, I'm complete opposite. Always ready to deal with something head on, wanting to resolve it so I can move past it. I hate the lingering of things, not talking, just sitting on whatever it is and letting it simmer until it explodes. Monday I called off the relationship mostly because its lacking see previous post *http://divahasspoken.blogspot.com/2014/09/when-those-demons-start-talking.html (that came out ugly), and I know that hurts my feelings the most. He tells me how wonderful I am and I am the best thing that has happened to him in a long time. So I don't understand why when I ask him to do some of the small things that he know I like, you the mushy stuff some girls like. The things that don't cost anything it always seem like its a problem. And no he doesn't say its a problem and honestly he has done some of those things but its always far and few. Am I asking for too much? In the same breath I say hell no....I'm not talking about things that cost $$, I'm talking about that feeling that men give the woman in there life that makes her feel special. And not that I don't know I'm special to him again I just hate that comfortable position. Anyway its only Thursday and the break up is killing me, sadly I really feel like this is the right thing to do but my feelings are extremely hurt and I miss him. Feel like I'm talking crazy, rambling on, saying two things at the same time.....I'm glad your back blog!