when those demons start talking

everybody have they own inner voice and as I get older I am well aware of mine. I have finally understood what my inner voice is saying about my relationship with men. I find myself never really having a problem meeting and getting into relationships, not to sound concieted but men always tend to want me to be their girlfriend. I don't see that as a bad thing, I guess it says something good about me. I always enjoy the beginning stage of the relationship, you know when the guy gives you all this attention and trying his best to capture the girl. What always happen is they conquer me and I enjoy every bit of it but then the long term relationship start to evolve into the comfort zone. You know, they have you now and everybody suppose to be happy and everybody is except me. I start to get bored and unhappy and I know the man in my life at the time loves me but I just lose interest. I start to feel alone, neglected and just bored. While I understand the begining stage is just infatuation and doesn't run deep like the love that two people have when they are together for a long time, I just hate how my boyfriends always get comfortable and stop doing those things that make me smile and feel warm and tingly. I do tell them and I am always coming up fun things to do to keep the relationship exciting but they just don't ever turn it back up like it was in the beginning. I start to feel bitchy and then I just end up venduring off to find the greener grass. I know that is not how life is but why can't I have someone who wants to keep things fun and exciting too? Then it never fails, I find greener grass after bitching for a long time and then they finally get the kick up the ass and want to do right. Sadly by then I dont even want to be with him anymore and cant seem to go back, its weird because I do still love the person but by then I'm all out of that kind of love. I know I can't keep going like this, I will end up alone and not that I'm not ok with alone I just don't understand why I would have to. I wonder where is that man thats wants and exciting woman and wants to be an exciting man.