smh

Last week CHOP(children's hospital of Philadelphia) called me and asked if I wanted to participate in a study.  Initially I was like ummm no, I work during the week and really don't have time but then she mentioned it starts at 530pm and it pays for parking and I will receive $50bucks.  Well in that case sure I would participate.  I know it seems a little cheesy but hay $50 is plenty pocket money for my wawa coffee runs in the morning to work.  From 5:30 to 7pm not bad at all, the study is about the growth of children between the ages of 9 and 14.  My oldest is 12 so yes I have plenty to say, you don't have to disclose any personal information they just want to hear opinions of the family. The study is tonight and I will be there ready to give my opinion and hoping that I can get more information on any other upcoming studies.  They also invited the other parent and they to would receive $50 as well.

I have been talking/texting the guy I met at Ruby Tuesday's sometime back(he lives in Delaware, 30y/o) and the conversations are sometimes weird.  For instance last Tuesday when I went out to Mad Mex he called when I was getting dressed, he asked if I wanted to go out to Warm Daddies the next day I said sure.  He then asked what was I doing I told him getting dressed to go out, then he says OH well since your going out tonight then maybe we should go out Thursday.  I told him no Thursday is no good for me lets stick with Wed, his whole mood change and he seemed pretty annoyed......why??
The next day I texted in the morning and he didnt' respond until about 4 hours later and his response was "morning", that's it.  Dude whats your problem?
I decided to get some space and just not text/call, he calls and we have a normal conversation and I ask him is something wrong.(which I don't understand why he would call me if he got something on his mind)  he says yes I'm just having a little money problem.  I said oh OK well that's normal everybody go through that, he then says well between rent and child support he's jacked.  Of course my initial thought is so why are you trying to date??  I said to him oh wow, those two things you can't budge on so maybe you need to find other avenues of money.  I was turned off even more just because that was a little too much information and not something you really tell someone you just met.  So I"m really not sure what now, talking/texting is cool but um that gets old after while if you don't add going out into the mix.

mmmmmm

Its Saturday and the sun has heated up the area to 100degrees, like whoa.  The father picked up the girls this morning they went to Neshaminy park. Its a nice place they have 3 pools activities for kids and a picnic area.  So Ase and I hung out in the air condition.  Ebony and I was suppose to take the kids to the please touch museum but she ended up with car problems.  I wasn't terribly upset I'm actually ok right here being a couch potato under the air condition.  Tonight is the Rhianna concert at the Wells Fargo Center(formerly Wachovia center) I fully intended to take my oldest when I heard about the concert back in Feb or March.  I didn't buy the tickets saying to myself I will get them later and of course later turned into me remembering until yesterday which means I didn't factor the money in to the budget.  Well there will be more concerts maybe I will keep my eye on Atlantic City and make it an over night trip for us.
What's everyone else doing on this hot Saturday?

why not

Hey noticed alot more traffice on my blog =), which is great! Go ahead follow me hell leave a comment, I won't bite.

all around the Mulberry bush

before I get around the Mulberry bush, Tuesday night Ebony and another friend and myself all went down to Mad Mex.  I find that doing something during the week breaks up that feeling of no life and all I do is work and take care of kids.  Ebony and I both felt that way so we decided to hit up one of our new favorite spots.  We had a great time of course I ordered there famous big ass Margarita and we all shared the grande nachos.  I have totally been off of my watch what you put in your mouth kick.  Which incidentally I decided the kids and I are going to eat out tonight and I want a cheese steak(SMH).  Anyway we talked girl/woman/kids/men stuff, then all of a sudden the father starts texting me which lead me to the mulberry bush.  Now I'm sitting at the table and initially I am discussing this new hot guy and here comes the father.  Every since I decided that we will no longer have a sexual relationship he turned into Mr.Communication, talking, texting all the time returning calls promptly and just being very attentive.  Of course once he found out I was out he texted me(not talking about anything) all night until I got home and had the nerve to ask me to send him a picture of me out.  Yeah Ebony and I laughed out loud about that one.
So yesterday again he texted me all day then he asked me out, yes my jaw dropped too.  Last night we went out just for some drinks nothing to major.  He left this morning, yes all around the Mulberry bush.

girl stuff

I have been having so much haven't had the time to blog.  I had a wonderful weekend Saturday my Jewelry demo which turned into Jewelry/Makeup demo turned out great.  Initially it was just gonna be Jewelry but I remembered I had a friend who does Mary Kay and I invited her to come and do her demo as well.  So we had make up in the dining room and Jewelry in the living room it was great.  I made food and my famous rum punch, not everyone came out but the people that did had a great time.  I love to entertain, I think in my other life I am an event planner.
Sunday a co worker gave her daughter a graduation party and that turned out to be awesome as well.  It was an all white party, I love themed parties, I topped my outfit off with my newly bought accessories.  Gold earrings with green stones, nude color pumps and green color Juicy Couture bag.  We had a great time the food and music all very good.  When I go out I go out to have a good time I don't stand around barely talking, I"m a big flirt, I enjoy myself.  I have a big personality and I don't hold back, I'm at a party....hello!  People that don't know me or only know me at work think oh she must me drunk.  Not at all, I rarely get "drunk", as I have explained to others just because I am the person who can be themselves and not care what others say or how they judge doesn't mean I somehow must be out of my right mind.  So now that I got that out.  The night was wonderful.
I have been texting/talking to the guy that I met at the fish fry at Lou and Choo's sometime back.  He is a total babe, I find myself being extra flirting and some what slutty when I talk to him.  I admit some guys bring that out more than others and he is that guy.  I haven't been this physically attracted to a guy as much since the father.  Not saying that the other guys I talk/talked to where not attractive but it's something about this dude.  He asked me out and I have to admit I'm worried, I'm worried that I just might want to jump his bones right away.  Not that I want to make him my boyfriend or anything, only because he doesn't strike me as the boyfriend type.  But I totally wouldn't mind him being my boy toy, I know I am so out of control.
It's summer!!

what a world we live in

so last night I watched the documentary "Becoming Chaz" on the OWN network.(yea Oprah just never stops)  Those of you that don't know, which I don't see how but it documents Chasity Bono(sp?) Cher and Sonni Bono only child transform herself from a woman to a man.  I"m not sure if I am politically correct.  They go back to pictures and skits of her earlier years on her parents tv show and she is the cutest little blonde hair little girl.  Then it just jumps to this fat chubby short haired guy who had surgery to remove his/her breast and faithfully injected testosterone in his buttock while running the risk of cancer.  Watching interviews with Cher it seemed obvious that she was not thrilled that her only daughter decided to make this transition.  I found myself wondering how would I feel, react if one of my children decided to do such a thing.  I know for sure that I would not be happy or even a little bit understanding of such a thing but then I said my love is not conditional for my children but I just know that I would not be that parent who embraces this.  I felt a sadness for not only Cher but Chaz, Chasity which by the way she also legally changed her name to Chaz.  But a sadness from a mom stand point, she no longer has a daughter who she could watch grow into a women.  Talking about guys, being a bride,getting pregnant giving birth, having grandchildren, shopping for pretty dresses, make up hair all those things that seperate girls from boys, not to say that she can't do all those things but come on seriously.  And not to say that all girls grow up to do those things but yes more likely than not.  Anyway I couldn't imagine having to deal with something so tragic.

Cougar town??

Monday I planned a quick meet up with another guy I have been talking to.  We met at the Ruby Tuesday by the airport, ironically this is the same place the father and I had our first date all those years ago.  Anyway we sat and talked and enjoyed each others conversation.  He's divorced, has one son live/works in Delaware which isn't that bad he said once he gets on 95s it was about a 20min drive.  I enjoyed talking with him he seems a little high strung or maybe he was somewhat nervous.  After I found out he was 30y/o the bubble kinda deflated, not that something is wrong with 30 I just really don't want to date anyone younger than me. (UGGG did I just reveal my age)  The father is 3y/o younger than I am and I just want to go the opposite direction.  Not that men can't be old and stupid I just would like to date someone a little more seasoned maybe show me something different and very comfortable with taking the lead if needed.  Yes I know age doesn't always determine that about someone.  This guy seemed smart and interesting so we will see.

its true, atleast im being honest....(hee hee)

and so should you!

I just want something else

I hate when I get this huge rush of overwhelming feelings and emotions.  24 hours ago I was relaxed chillin pretty much content with things.  I hate that the father can still some how turn things upside down for me. Yesterday I was invited to a friends BBQ the girls was over my mom's so that left Ase.  I asked the father if he could hang out with him, of course he was so busy and wouldn't be able to.  Something I didn't find shocking,so I had Ebony as a back up.  Around 11am guess who shows up at my house unannounced?  You know it, I was thrown off because he really doesn't do that regularly.  Yes he has pulled that a few times in the past but not lately.  I'm thinking that since you said you where so busy what are you doing at my place?  Anyway he have been totally lurking on me lately and I have been ignoring him.  I explained to him several times that I no we won't be having sex anymore.  I'm much tired of that song and dance, I can't move forward and put him behind me if I continue to screw him.  So he hangs around until about 1:30pm and leaves after Ase and I fall asleep on the couch.  So why do I feel so crappy?  It's stressful enough moving on and starting over but then to add this factor in doesn't help.  Yes I held my ground and honestly I didn't find it difficult but I feel funky.  Why can't he leave me alone?  So now that I feel like this I ask myself what should I do about it?  I know I can only control me, I thought about limiting the interaction/contact with him.  We really don't need to interact as much as we do.  In the past I set him up with clothes and medication at his place so when he picked them up from the daycare he wouldn't have any reason to come over my house.  For whatever reason he brought all the clothes back and never got more.  I"m frustrated because this is ruffling my feathers and I don't know why.(sigh)  Anybody understand what/why/how I feel??

and were off

We have kicked off the summer official with our 1st trip to the beach Sunday.  It turned out to be a great day despite the morning.  Usually my trips to the beach consist of some friends with kids, that way everybody has someone to talk/play with.  This year I asked a few people and no one was able to go, so I asked the father and surprisingly he said yes.  I spoke with him Saturday afternoon to confirm what time he will be there and when we will be leaving.  Everything seemed to be going as planned, then I get a text 8am Sunday morning saying something really stupid about being tired and his back and that he wouldn't be able to go.  Of course I was pissed, not because I wanted him to go but because I just didn't feel comfortable/safe at the beach with 3 kids.  Gia likes to get on her buggy board and really get out there, Ayanna is too short to really hang with her sister and I need to keep an eye on Ase.  Which is why I always ask others to come along, but of course I wouldn't let other people be the deciding factor in what I do for my kids so off we went.  The cooler, food, blankets, buggy boards, shovels, buckets, umbrellas, sun block, sun glasses, beach towels and swimmers all was loaded in the white Pontiac and we road out to the beach.  Things turned out great, we all got in the water Gia took her sister out and played with her.  They dug sand ditches and Ase wasn't comfortable with the sand on his feet and we laughed at him as he fell over in the water.  We had a wonderful time.  After we were done on the beach of course we hit the boardwalk, funnel cake and ice cream was a must(for kids not me).  The girls road some rides and Ase laid in his stroller totally exhausted just watching everything.  We left around 7pm and Ayanna had the sad face(of course) but I assured her we will come back.









Wednesday girls had there 6month check up at the dentist, Ase had his 2 weeks prior the father took him.  Apparently he cried the whole time but he is cavity free along with Ayanna but unfortunately Gia was not.  She was pretty upset about to, I'm not allowed back with Gia only Ayanna because of the age I guess so here are a few pics of her.





I have already began to plan our major trip for this summer, this will be to Niagara Falls.  I'm so excited and after much debate I have decided to just drive there.  I'm not looking forward to a 6 hour drive but I'm going to do it.  My plan is to leave at 6am, bring lots of snacks, make stops on the way and buy a portable DVD player.  Yaaaaay! road trip!

On the other side of my life, the guy I met at Mad Mex did not turn out to be someone I want to continue to get to know.  I'm still talking to guy #1(from previous post) the IT guy that lives in Carlisle(sp?) Pa.  We both agree that we don't like the distance but we still want to met and see what happens.  I have a lunch date set up for Sunday with Mr.Officer(guy#3).  We was suppose to met several times but I flaked a couple of times, we work opposite of each other.  I have added another person guy #4 he will be called, he's from Claymont DE, which isn't that far from Phila area.  He has been added to mix of texting/talking, he is from Boston, divorced moved here to be closer to his son.  I forgot what he does, dang so many men can't keep up with who is who. SMH but like I said girl needs options and a good stable to chose from.