Yesterday I took myself to the ER to have my foot looked at, after x-ray I am happy to report that it's just badly bruised no fractures or broken bones. Wonderful considering I don't have time for stuff like that with 3 children to run behind. So I go through triage and the nurse is getting all my information and I step on the scale and look at this number. That can't be true, no way, really, OMG......
So now the rest of my day is ruined and I hate to feel that way considering I have really been working out regularly. By the end of the day I felt ugly, unattractive and like total waste of space. I have never been the kind to get hung up on what the scale says, I usually measure how I feel and my clothes fit. It just didn't match how I feel about myself everyday, in my head I am this sexy, attractive, well dressed, make up wearing, hand bag carrying women. I was trying to convince myself not to be so hard on myself considering I gave birth to 3 children and the youngest is 18months. No way I just couldn't get on board with that, I still felt this overwhelming sadness and disgust.
Since I usually don't feel this way about myself it made me get even more serious about working out and what I am eating. I usually stay away from carbs and sugary drinks, but yes I do often give in.
By no means do I want to be skinny because I love having curves a donk and cleavage I just don't need so much extra fluff. So here I go deep into this health/weight loss/fell good kick.
seriously hate that stupid number
ReplyDelete"extra fluff" tee hee. I know how you feel. Once I slipped on the ice and they sent me to occupational health to make sure my back was okay. Instead, all the doctor talked to me about was how I needed to shed some pounds. It destroyed me for days after.
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