Is it really this complexe??

As of Tuesday Miami is booked and paid for, yaaaaaaay!!  Of course things just can't go a smooth as planned here goes.  In March Ebony and I agree that we would make things final for our trip, the dates, reservations and plane tickets.  We agreed that the end April we would pay for everything soooooo as of today I have paid for my plane ticket and hotel room along with another girl that I work with.  After several text messages and phone conversations I don't know what Ebony is going to do.  She said she's going to purchase her plane ticket by next week but I don't know what she's doing about the hotel.  She's hoping that once we get there that she will be able to pay for us an upgrade to a bigger room.  If anyone have ever been to south beach, Miami the average hotel room is not really spacious.  Consider it's a popular area and the hotels want to maximize on as many guest as possible.  So 3 chica's to an average south beach room is not going to work.  Everyone that knows me know that when I set out to do something I do it, this is my 3rd annual mommy vaca.  Next year maybe I will send out Evite invitations to a few mommies I wouldn't mind vaca-ing with, open the floor to suggestions on spots and try to make it an on going thing since I enjoy planning things. So anyway, I refuse to make this a headache or a worry some situation for me.  I told her what time our flight leaves and from what airlines and where we will be staying.  All I have to worry about is packing.  

I love being a women(sometimes)

Yesterday I took myself to the ER to have my foot looked at, after x-ray I am happy to report that it's just badly bruised no fractures or broken bones.  Wonderful considering I don't have time for stuff like that with 3 children to run behind.  So I go through triage and the nurse is getting all my information and I step on the scale and look at this number.  That can't be true, no way, really, OMG......
So now the rest of my day is ruined and I hate to feel that way considering I have really been working out regularly.   By the end of the day I felt ugly, unattractive and like total waste of space.  I have never been the kind to get hung up on what the scale says, I usually measure how I feel and my clothes fit.  It just didn't match how I feel about myself everyday, in my head I am this sexy, attractive, well dressed, make up wearing, hand bag carrying women.  I was trying to convince myself not to be so hard on myself considering I gave birth to 3 children and the youngest is 18months.  No way I just couldn't get on board with that, I still felt this overwhelming sadness and disgust. 
Since I usually don't feel this way about myself it made me get even more serious about working out and what I am eating.  I usually stay away from carbs and sugary drinks, but yes I do often give in. 
By no means do I want to be skinny because I love having curves a donk and cleavage I just don't need so much extra fluff.  So here I go deep into this health/weight loss/fell good kick.

me too!

I joined twitter, yes yes I know I'm extremely late.  I'm really not the kind of person who got into the whole  myspace, facebook or most of the social craze.  Honestly it annoys me, it annoys me to see people dieing for attention and using it as a means to brag about something that most people don't really care about.  I love my blog because I can be me and talk honestly about how I feel without this need to say something to impress someone from high school who I don't really care about.  Yes I do have a facebook account which I don't do much with and mostly I keep it to say something silly every now and then but mainly to monitor my pre-teen daughter's account.  I joined twitter because hey, I'm young and hip(although that line might have disqualified me)  I plan to use it every now and then oh and maybe when I'm in Miami, it's also fun to learn new things and keep up with this fast past world. 

Yesterday I got some of the kids summer clothes out of the basement.  So when I got upstairs I threw the bag up the steps, I forgot I still had the kids bunk bed slacks in the hall.  So when the bag it the slacks it sends them flying down the steps, I thought I could catch(these 2 8feet tall pieces of wood) them, I missed and they both hit my foot. OMG...    So of course I don't want to go to the Dr, I'm just not the one to run to the Dr/Er for every little thing and I get enough Dr/Er trips with Ase.  But today it still hurts to the touch and is kinda puffy.  UGGGG  So after work I think I will find myself to the ER at least the father is getting the kids so I don't have to worry about them driving me crazy. (sigh)

rambling(thoughts)

UGGGG.....I can't, your annoying me so bad, why this time more than any other I don't know.  The past two day I have been so irked.  Maybe your around too much maybe I'm truely getting tired of the blurry line that lays between us.  I need some space, yes I know it's a difficult time for you but it's not "our" burden anymore it's yours and yours alone.  Can I help, sure of course I would I will I do but I need some space now.  Maybe just some elbow room, no wait I need alot more room than that.  UGGGG!  Why do it have to be this difficult? Am I doing too much?  Are you asking for too much?  This is sooo not the typical situation.  After today I gave myself permission to get my space over the next few day, whew!

:) and :(

:(I have had so many things on my mind lately that I haven't been able to update blog.  Which when I think about that statement it seems strange, if I have plenty of thoughts why am I not blogging.  When I think about it, it's some stress and worry so it's actually not the same.  I don't want to go into alot of details but the father is experiencing the budget cuts back of the school district he works for.  So of course this causes a butterfly effect over here and slows done some of the things I had planned with my new place.  Now I have to be more cautious about whipping out my debit card.
:)On the lighter side, I have been totally working my a*% off in the gym.  I am so proud of myself, like I said I plan to make working out just part of my everyday life.  As far my eating, since I hit 30 and birthed "3" kids I have realized I can't eat what and how I use to.  So as far as eating I have adopted low to no carbs lifestyle.  That works out great for me since I have always been a meat eater.  Sometimes I get a little out of control with soda but I will do a diet soda once in a while.  Overall I am pretty happy with my changes, I don't feel deprived and every now and then(and I mean rarely;) will have some chocolate.
:( This past week have been really rough for my little guy, two Thursday's ago he was sent home with a fever.  Every since he has been wheezing and coughing away.  Then with the rain and weather being all over the place he just hasn't been able to recover.  Since I am pretty comfortable working his plan we didn't have any ER trips so there is a bright side.
:)I am pretty much in love with my hair color, I decided that I will get some highlights to add to, cut me a bang a some small layers.  Yes I am ready for a change and something new.  I have gotten lots of compliments on it, everyone seems to agree that it goes well with me.
:( Here we go again with people having to constantly comment on what I wear.  I know this sounds snobby and its not meant to but it gets pretty annoying to hear "oh you look cute" or "look at you all sexy" and the one I really hate "where are you going".  I do appreciate compliments and no I"m not saying that I don't but it sometimes it gets I don't know I am at a lost for words but I don't like it all the time.  Yes I do have a style all my own and I know what I wear can be an eye catcher sometimes but I"m just being me.  

:D

Came across this article and I felt very hopeful and pretty good.

 

 

Careers That Are Built To Last

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See how the right education and training could prepare you for a stable career that pays.

By Jennifer Berry
Your career doesn't need to be as unstable as the economy.
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Hughes says there are plenty long-term careers out there...but some of them might look a little different than they did a decade ago.
"These days you might have a 30-year career in a specialized firm (like an accounting firm) rather than a big corporation that has all departments in house," she points out as an example.
Want to learn more about stable career options? Keep reading to see seven careers with staying power.

Career #1 - Paralegals
Average Pay: $50,080

Many firms are hiring paralegals instead of lawyers these days to manage costs. As a paralegal, you may help prepare for trials, draft contracts, establish trust funds, or even investigate the facts of cases and take affidavits.
Why it's built to last: The U.S. Department of Labor projects excellent job growth for paralegals - 28 percent between 2008 and 2018. According to Hughes, the paralegal profession is a "solid occupation that isn't going anywhere. There's enough complexity in legal cases that this position isn't easily outsourced."
How to get started: If you're interested in becoming a paralegal, consider earning an associate's degree in paralegal studies. If you already have a bachelor's degree, a certificate in paralegal studies can provide you with intensive paralegal training in a few months. Check to see if your program offers internship opportunities, which could provide valuable hands-on experience.
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because it's spring....

I decided to color my hair over the weekend.  Everyone that knows me know I love red, I like the way it turned out but I am going back so she can finish it.  I want it a little lighter in the ends, just even it out a little.  I know it's very dramatic but I figured I better do all the crazy stuff before I'm told old and it just looks ridiculous.

I know how this feels.....

soooo butttterummmm.....

Everything has be pretty quiet on the home front....
Monday Gia and I went to the store to window shop for her graduation dress, but of course that turned into me actually buying the dress.  I liked the dress and was glad that we actually agreed on something.  She is at that age of coming into to her own style and what mom likes she doesn't always agree.  It's pretty annoying because I can be pretty bossy but I take a breath and step back and let her grow up and make her own decisions(as long as its within reason).
All week I have not been in the mood to do any work.  It's ridiculous that I have been at work and just dragging along doing the bare minium and making it look good.  I am soooo bored with this job, the people annoye me and honestly I'm even tired of looking at the four walls of my office.  I can't say that I feel trapped because I have a plan in motion but OMG this is depressing.  Yes I am glad that I have a job that pays well and works great for my family but I need stimulation before my brain is mush.  Yesterday LTF and I were talking about my classes and will I continue to a 4 year degree.  Once I'm done and start working and gain some experience I will for sure, why not.  He made a strange comment, I better not go off and meet some lawyer.  I said "LOL, I can't wait to met me a professional man who will fall in love with this chocolate drop".  For some reason he was pretty annoyed with the idea, strange but so is his whole take on me.
Speaking of strange men, the father and I have been playing footsy again.  I know I know, I'm a total loser.  It usually starts with him needing to stop by for something stupid and then he all of a sudden gets so tired that he falls alseep on the couch.  And that is usually after he finds something in my refridgerator to eat.  Yes I know we have a strange yet stupid situation going.  Who does this?  I'm assuming when people are going through a divorce they don't hang out on the couch listening to music watching the kids dance.  I wouldn't think that everytime they see each other there is this very suttle flirting going on along with all of these silly reasons to call eachother and talk about nothing.  But then again we are not talking about most people, it's just me.   Such is life........

Here is the couch I want, after I get my living room set up then I guess I will have my cocktail hour.  I'm going to go with a pale pink accent pillows that I already have.  So my color scheme will be chocolate brown, pink and tan.



what do you think?

I was minding my own business(again)

Once again I am minding my own business and someone I have known for quite sometime comes up to me and tells me how beautiful I look today.  Now a girl is always excepting of a compliment but I didn't expect it from this person.  Ok so everyone(meaning whoever is reading this blog) is well aware that the father and I met at work, fyi he no longer is here.  So I am eating my lunch with a co-worker and another co-worker sits with us.  Someone who I have ate lunch with several times, so not a biggy.  He then interrupts our conversation to tell me how "beautiful" I look today.  Again nothing major because he and others have given me compliments about what I wear and how look.(sorry I don't mean for this to sound snobby, I'm not at all)
So we just all kinda chatting and he begins to tell me that he wants to take me out to dinner, the Chart house.  I told him I don't really care for the food there so it would have to be somewhere else.  So he suggested another restaurant.  note: during this conversation I really am not taking him seriously but apparently he was very serious.  So he wrote his number down on a napkin and put it in a heart. oh my!

to be continued.............