"It's my money and I want it now"

So where is my w-2??  Of course the place where I work has an issue with the W-2's, it never fails.  I keep hearing about how other people got there's and they filed their taxes and the money is currently on it's way.  In our effort to go green the company decided to no longer mail/print out pay stubs.  So now you have to log on to a website to view your stub and/or print it out.  And you also have to log on to request time off.  Now I am totally for going green.  Recycling has been my obsession for quite some time, I recycle EVERYTHING.  I have also been known to(when over friends/family house) get something out of the trash can because it belongs in the recycling bin.  So when the company went with this I was very pleased(considering they destroyed an apple orchard, just to make more parking spots don't even get me started on that!).  But now apparently this is the hold up for the W-2's.  Now for me tax time is great!  I get a nice lump sum of money to take care of alot of things(sorry for the people who owe:( but I look forward to this time) that tend to be difficult to work into the budget during the year.  I better receive my W-2 no later than this Friday....or else! ;)





In other news, I am totally bored and sick of the snow and being in the house OMG!!  It often seems that nobody wants to do anything.  Well maybe it's not that they don't want to do anything but the budget may not allow for it.  Because it's not like I'm rolling in dough with tons of money burning a hole in my pocket.  But this is another reason I can't wait to move, I have always been the one who has get together and enjoys entertaining.  Also it probably doesn't help that I have a very limited amount of friends.  But I"m pretty happy with that, I don't like girlfriend drama and I already know that everybody can't deal with my personality.  So having few friends is probably for the better.  Yea now I'm just kind of rambling, maybe I should get back to work.

I have neglected you

it feels like I haven't been here in a long time, I apologize blog for neglecting you......

Well lets see there has not been alot going on:

-Friday Ebony and I went out to eat, Red lobster.  All week we have been talking about how we both needed/wanted to get out.  So we had planned to ditch the kids and just the two of use hang out.  She picked me up and we stopped at this thrift store, Gina's closet.  It's in clifton heights right across from the Burlington coat factory on Balitmore pike.  It's very nice with alot of high end clothing labels, I saw these Louis Vuitton sandals for $275.  Which is a nice deal consider they usually run about $500 bucks, but I settled for some $7 pants for work. Ebony also found some work pants as well.  We also stopped in Burlington and I pick Ase up the cutest suit, OMG I really didn't think dressing boys would be this fun.  I have to admit when I found out I was having a boy I was like UGGGG! No pink dresses all I have to look forward to was Mr. brown and blue.  But I have come into it and I enjoy dressing as much as I do the girls.


We had a great time, the food was great.  I order my favorite....steak!  I know everybody gets on me about how I like red meat!  Yes I do.  Every now and then I appreciate a good piece of steak!  Yea yea Yea I have heard about all the health issues associated with red meat.  But guess what, I'm going to eat it and enjoy and that's that!

-Sunday I went over a friend house, she invited me and my crew to dinner.  She goes to my hall and we always have a great time talking drinking and eating!  She has the daughter close to Ayanna's age so they play, Gia watches tv in her room and we sit downstairs drinking wine and talking.  It's great another something to do in my pretty boring life.  We watched the movie for colored girls....what a sad movie.  After watching it I was very heavy with emotions.  The really sad thing is that every women I know can relate to one of the characters.  The poetry was nice, I heard that the play was great!  I had enough and don't need to read the book or go see the play.  The cast was exceptional all star!


-I have to learn to better navigate this site.  How to upload better looking picks and creating my own personal banner/header.

So like I said not alot going on, Oh yea and this week I will make it a point to join in the WWIW(what I wore Wednesday).  Later!

Testing

So I got a new phone and I have an app for blogger and I'm trying it out.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Time to stir things up a bit

I never really got into the new year resolution thing but this year I have decided to make some goals for myself.......

-  Make it to the gym a minimum of twice a week.  I know it doesn't sound like alot but considering my home life that would be wonderful.

-  Complete necessary things to purchase my home.  Cleaning things off credit report working with mortgage specialist.  These things are already in the works but just stay on top of them.

-   Register/attend classes to complete my Paralegal degree.  After speaking with representatives from a few colleges I'm looking at a year and I will be done.  I am so unstimulated(sp?) at my current job, I need to be challenged more and this is something I have always found interesting.  After completion I hope to embark on a new career path.

-   Attend my meetings at the Kingdom Hall regularly/weekly.  Stick to our family worship night(the kids love it).  Follow through with all my spiritual goal.

-   Buy a sewing machine and make myself a skirt to wear to work.  It seems simple, right!?

-   This summer ride my bike on the drive(area near Phila art museum) at least once.  Find a bike path in my area and ride it.

-   Look into renting a Winnebago for a vacation. I know, I'm corny but I have always wanted to rent a Winnebago and drive the kids to a camping sight and also take in scenery.  When I was a kid I went camping overnight, this day and age I just can't see me sending my kids to a overnight camp but I do want them to go camping.

Well these are just a few things I want to accomplish, what about you?

and another thing......

I knew this would happen, I blog about my situation and now it weights heavy on me again.  I am really taken back by my actions, my thoughts the whole way I am dealing with this.  In the past I dealt with break ups and guys much differently.  Once I'm done I was done, I didn't go through this pin ball game.  I would almost became disgusted with the person and couldn't even imagine being with them anymore. 
Here I am annoyed and sometimes angry with myself for being in this emotional situation.  Why is this so different?  Why haven't I completely put an end to this?  Where is the quick fix?  Am I being weak?  Where do I start?  Does somebody else need to come into my life before I'm able to really put an end to it?  Or would that just makes things worse?  I have heard the saying "you can't move forward until you know your never going backward"(i think that's how it went) does that ring some truth to it?  What's a girl to do?

Today I have been in contact with the mortgage specialist so that also sent my emotions all over the place.  I swear you have to disclose everything about yourself since you where born.  Well maybe not that far back but sheesh.  I talked it out with some people who have been through the process and they assured me just give them what they need and keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel, my house.  The guy was telling me that if I want to stick with my March 1st deadline then we need to get moving.  Which means March 1st is a possibility, I'm telling him it has to happen considering I told my current landlord that I will be out by then, yikes!

I will put a bottle of wine on stand by.......

why can't life be simple

FYI:  lots of rambling, complaining, venting and possibly some run on sentences........


The father and I have been separated for two, yes count them two years and our son is 1 years old  ok!  During this time I have to admit its been back and forth up and down left and right and every which way side ways.  He decided two years ago that he wanted a divorce

(background: two years ago I saw an old friend of mine, ok my ex while I was out.  We talked and sat and had lunch, yes he was still very much in love with me and I knew it.  No I was not in love with him anymore but at the same time no I didn't hate him.  He was someone I spent alot of my life with he taught me things and mostly he taught me what I wanted in a man and how I wanted my future relationships to be but I knew for sure that I would never be with him like that again.  After lunch we said goodbye and that was it, the father found out and of course exploded.  Hind sight I guess I shouldn't have sat and talked with him because I was married but honestly am I not my own person. There was nothing physical not even a goodbye hug)

after finding out.  After explaining numerous times what happen and assuring him that was it he still then insisted he wanted a divorce.  I said fine I was done trying to convince him of what happen and I'm sure after he talked to all of the idiots he calls friends he was on some other stuff.  I told him I did some research and I found a place and a price and if he wanted me to pay for half then I would.  I was feed up and felt like if somebody wanted to go then far be it for me to try to hold them back.  At the end of the year we separated I told him I have the money and I am ready when he is.  Of course he never respond and when I bring it up he does everything but bite my head off.  During this time we have awkward interactions when he comes for the kids.  It's this combination of anger and still this attraction to each other.  After a few months of that the attraction wins I we end up having our son.  Now that was the very abstract and short version of what has happened.  I am totalled frustrated with this situation. I am frustrated with myself and him.  I tell myself(and him) I'm done I'm tired of this back and forth.  We are now at the point where he isn't going to pay or even pay half for divorce papers.  I want to put a period at the end and move on.  I will not pretend like I'm not legally married and try to start something new with someone else.  But more importantly my moral conscience bothers me more than anything.  I know how God views divorce and what grounds the Bible gives and says divorce is allowable.  I have asked him "don't you have a girlfriend?"  "why do you want me, I thought you said you didn't want me?"  This is exhausting and down right annoying.  What if I file divorce papers and we still continue this cycle of stupidity.  Honestly I believe he spoke to soon and was talking out of anger, he talked so bad about me that he would rather cut his nose of to spite his face.  His pride and ego his in his way but at that's something he's going to have to live with.  All I know is this ride is has taken its toll on me and I"m exhausted.